Below I discuss my key take-aways, themes, and ideas drawn from the book.
Normalizing unwanted intrusive thoughts is the first step to taking away the power of these thoughts in your life. Most of us have believed several myths regarding this topic. Contrary to popular belief, thoughts are not under our control, they do not indicate our character, our inner self nor do they only happen to sick-minded people. The unconscious mind cannot affect actions nor do thoughts make something more likely or unlikely to happen. Not every thought is worth thinking nor is every thought important or have meaning.
Disclaimer: Unwanted intrusive thoughts are indeed unwanted. Professional mental health should be sought if you find yourself inviting morally questionable thoughts as a way to cope or escape, if you have real suicidal preoccupations or pedophilia etc.
Unsuccessful efforts to overcome anxiety are likely due to three factors. A “sticky” mind holds on to thoughts usually in the setting of burnout, fatigue or feelings of being overwhelmed. Our paradoxical effort to get rid of the thoughts tends to only make the thoughts hang around longer. Lastly, reassuring ourselves against the content of the thoughts results in entanglement with the thoughts as we incessantly argue with them (p. 91).
Successfully ****removing the power of unwanted intrusive thoughts begins with focusing on your relationship to thoughts rather than fighting the content of the thought. The authors prescribe an attitude of acceptance as you seek to recognize the thought, label it as just a thought, allow the feelings to be there and let time pass until you’re ready to proceed with what you were already doing. In other words, Observe the thought and let go of your commentary (p. 12). Distress is not caused by the content itself but our reaction and feelings towards the thoughts (p. 48).
Neurobiology ****helps us understand how the thalamus, frontal cortex and amygdala play a role in the fear response. It is easy for strong neural connections to form when experiences are paired with strong emotions. The popular saying goes, Nerves that fire together, wire together (p. 76).
Exposure work ****involves exposing oneself to the opportunity for intrusive thoughts while maintaining the attitude of acceptance. Emotional Processing theory and Inhibitory Learning theory involve pairing new strong emotional experiences with activity and acceptance in order to create new neurological pathways and effectively retrain the brain’s response to a certain trigger. This is done best when practiced frequently in many different situations under a variety of conditions.
Defining the goal ****correctly is imperative. We want you to reach the point where you do not care whether the thoughts come or not (p. 108). You will never be immune to unwanted intrusive thoughts but you will have the tools you need to prevent the thoughts from holding any importance or power over you.