This Index (CGPS Overview) acts as a reference page for anything you're looking for. The Action List (what you just clicked into this from) is the step by step guide to the program. The "Reference" view in the Action List has recommended books to read, movies to watch and other helpful extras.
Feel free to reach out for support and guidance on any of these steps by texting 801 613 8354. Working with a coach can be extremely helpful. To set up some zoom calls with me, please go to: www.pathofpeace.org/appointment
Assist couples in developing habits and rituals that foster a fun, intimate, loving, lasting marriage. Couples GPS includes 5 overarching objectives:
** 1) Build Your Friendship Get to know each other. Get to enjoy each other.
2) Strengthen Your Personal Core Your marriage can only be as good as you are.
3) Deepen Your Intimacy Increase trust. Resolve misunderstandings. Clarify couple agreements and day by day, more and more- enjoy the security of each other's love and commitment.😃
Each of the CGPS action steps is to create support these 5 themes (above). Some of the actions and objectives will be standard (part of our program). Others will be unique to your relationship- specific agreements you work out. Personal Coaching is helpful (often essential) in creating these unique agreements.
I read about a double homicide in the 70’s. The defense attorney was able to get a significantly reduced sentence for his client based on his clients poor diet (too much sugar). This amazing moment in law history was coined “The Twinkies Defense.”
The reason this defense worked is that the jury understood that our lives don't play out in segments, but as Life Coach Jamie Utley teaches, as one whole- “How you do one thing is how you do everything.” Every aspect of your life effects the other. Couples GPS is based on this premise.
If you want increased peace, joy and intimacy, pay attention to your life, not just your wife (or husband) i.e. diet, career, spirituality, exercise and how you manage your time and actions.
Couples GPS can be pursued at whatever speed you are willing to go. The listed actions are for you to choose into (or skip) at your own pace. There is no "Day 1", "Day 2" etc. Bear in mind that results depend on daily, consistent action, rituals and habits. Here's a rule of thumb: Challenge yourself, but don't overwhelm yourself.
If you're a coaching client, I will be making suggestions but you and your spouse will be choosing your actions.
It may all seem like a lot at first, but once we get rolling, you will love whatever CGPS daily and weekly rituals and habits you're choosing into. The secret is to just bite off a little each day. It's the day to day momentum that pays off. It doesn't need to be a lot of time but it does need to be daily.
Think of this material like a new puppy. If you pay close attention to it, every day, you're puppy and you will soon be cuddling. But if you ignore your puppy's pawing at the back door (the next CGPS action step), there will be pee all over the place.
1) When you hit a bump, get back on the horse. It is common to take 3 steps forward and 2 steps back. Don't panic. Keep your eye on the ball and keep going. Victory isn't necessarily for the strongest or the smartest, or even the best looking. It's for those that do not quit.
2) Embrace a "Wax on / Wax off" approach. Learn and master each part of Couples GPS, just like the Karate Kid mastered how to wax, how to pain, how to sand. Because of all of this protocol training, when the tough moments came, he was ready! - The right moves, the right habits, the right protocol- all already imbedded and instinctive. Same with your marriage- the habits you're learning and committing now will ensure your success against any challenge.
3) You will want to focus on your issues. I will be focusing on what you are bringing to your issues (i.e. and underlying trust or an underlying distrust?, patience and creativity? or panic and fear? etc. ).
4) You might be inclined to address 2 or more issues at once. I will be faithful in making sure we stay with one issue until it's complete and then go on to the next, which is key to our success.
5) You might wonder if it's even possible to save your relationship. I will assure you, based on years of experience, that it's not about whether your relationship can be saved. There's not even a question about that. It's about whether you're willing to keep the agreements you make, of your own free will.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMCsXl9SGgY
This coaching outline is a heads up for personal coaching participants (vs. just working through the material on your own). If you're not registered, we'd love to serve you! Click here to set up your meetings.
1) Set Intention i.e. "What would you guys like to experience or accomplish in this meeting?" This is a helpful start, especially for your coach. There are many directions a meeting can go i.e. covering a recent issue, training on a principle or exercise. Stating your intention at the top of the meeting grounds you in what you want to accomplish (at least for now) and guides your coach in helping you to get there.
2) Overview of agreed action steps and personal &/or couple agreements. Common questions can be: ”What's working?, What's not working?, What will lead to _________?, What's in the way?" etc.
It's easy to want something without actually going after it. For instance, it's easy to want to be a medical doctor but it's hard to sign up for 12 years of school. My brother used to say, "Johnny, everyone in Hollywood wants to be a writer. But very few want to write."
The same is true with your marriage and family. Wanting a good marriage doesn't get you a good marriage. The objective in coaching is to strengthen habits that lead to a better marriage- launching you from your dream of a better marriage onto a road that actually leads to it.
These habits are often counter-intuitive. But as Einstein implied- you won't solve existing problems at the same level of thinking (and action) which you created them- hence, our meetings provide weekly attention and focus on steps and habits that raise you to a new and needed level of thinking.
2) Address new or ongoing issues, goals & objectives around family, kids, finances, goals, sex, business, religion. This usually takes the form of guided communication process like making "U.S.A requests" or doing what we call a "Love Seat" during our meetings.
3) Based on the above, recommend, modify, or delete action steps going forward… based on what you seem ready and willing to commit to.
4) Make an appointment for our next meeting.
I can assure you, based on years of experience, that it's not about whether your relationship can be saved (or improved). There's not even a question about that. It's about whether you're willing to keep the agreements you make, of your own free will, in our meetings. Stay with the program. You'll be so freaking happy you did, you'll be dancing on your kitchen table.
If you are not registered for personal coaching already, figure out what table you're going to dance on, then go to www.pathofpeace.org/appointment.
