April 21, 2017

Well everyone (almost) would admit being a teenager sucks....

The dictionary defines adolescence as the time of life between puberty and maturity. in my simple terms "the in betweeners" because practically we couldn't be more stuck in the middle of life if we tried , no longer my days consist of sand castles or fighting with friends in recess and still at the end of the spectrum I still can't vote, I still live with my parents and as per them I still have no idea what the real world really is. I'm torn between the desire to rekindle the joys of childhood and the need to keep maturing and become an adult. I want to go to that part of life when every problem was solved by "akkad bakkad bombe boo" and yet want to find my own way.

I think being a teenager is the midpoint signifying a step away from comforts of home but with a food at the doorway for security sake. Now about me, I'm 16 years young ,not even an adult yet. I can't vote nor I've any license though I've been driving for 2 years. it'll be two years until I can legally drive or drink an alcoholic beverage. I'm only 16 and I feel I've experienced so much.... that it makes the future seem boring.

I've tasted the ugly, I've lied elders, I've witnessed close friends come out, I've witnessed closer ones suffer with self multination, I've had fights with friends for petty reasons, I've made mistakes, I've had panic attacks and social anxiety and been the victim of mild depression. I've used the words "I hate myself" too many times and i regret countless things I've said or done. but now what matters is the good, what matters is the memories I've made, the laughs I've shared and the bonds I've kept.

What matters is the strong and unique individual I've become. what matters is the exemplary, mature citizen I've become by learning from my mistakes when i was still an ignorant, innocent little girl in the past 16 years of my life. so being a teenager i want to boil away my iniquities the insecurities, pettiness and spitefulness, evaporate the hatred and then cast my own self over the ones I love and also whom I don't saying "this is who I am".