Our choices are often guided by concepts that are bundles of goals/fears, expectations, and personal values. This exercise is intended to help you pull those bundles apart.

Start by thinking of a way you try to be. Maybe you try to be generous, kind, helpful or a good listener. Whatever it is, write it down here:

Then, using the word or phrase above, answer these questions one by one:

1. To seem this way to others, I've been:

Pause for a moment, and answer one or both of these questions:

2. But on my own terms, being this way means being:

3. And people I admire for being this way inspire me because they are:

Now take a minute to reflect on anything interesting or surprising in the difference between your answer to Question 1) and Questions 2) and 3). Write down anything that stands out for you.